Owning My WAP: how females’ raunchy songs lead to sexual empowerment

The first time I listened to Cardi B’s WAP on YouTube, my eyes almost fell out. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

Wet ass pussies. Macaroni in a pot. Choking and gagging and something about touching the back of one’s throat. The song was so sexually explicit. Unapologetically and unashamedly so. And a woman was rapping it. I loved it! 

“You are a lady!”

WAP, however, would only be the first of the many sexually explicit female songs I would come to know and love. Later, I’d find myself singing to Ariana Grande’s 34 + 35 and spitting Doja Cat’s Need to Know and Get Into It (Yuh). Currently, I’m memorizing Megan Thee Stallion and Dua Lipa’s Sweetest Pie. 

I have three reasons for memorizing these songs. One: they’re a banger. Two: I’ll be so dope dropping their bars. And three: singing/rapping their lyrics defies people’s expectations of me, a woman, and how I should regard my sexuality. 

A woman, as everybody knows, must be modest and demure and shall never be vocal about her sensual desires. Lest she shall rot in hell. 

Hell is the patriarchal society we live in

Ever since I was a kid, I was told that a woman who was sexual in any way was “bad.” Girls who wore revealing clothes were condemned. Teenage girls who let their boyfriends inside their rooms were gossiped about. Women who had been with a lot of men were burned at the stake (almost literally).

But when men did the same things, they weren’t condemned or made the star of every Marites’ gossip. When I was old enough to notice and ask people about it, “Lalaki kasi” was the reply I’d get. As if going topless with their pants falling off their butts, inviting girls into their rooms to “cuddle” with them, or having multiple sexual partners were the most natural thing for men to do. 

Men were expected to be sexual. Expressing their carnal desires was a sign of their masculinity. But women who did the same were considered trashy and less feminine. This double standard didn’t make sense to me back then, and it still doesn’t now.

Women are sexual beings, too

WAP and 34 + 35 were both refreshing and shocking for me to hear. They were literally a “fuck you” to society’s standards of what a woman should be. That is, indifferent to sex.

Contrary to popular belief, women are also sexual beings with their own needs and desires. Though many people are scandalized by females who sing about wanting “six-nine without Tekashi” or “that nasty, that freaky stuff,” these songs allow women to embrace the part of themselves that craves physical pleasure. 

With lyrics such as “I want you to park that big Mack truck right in this little garage,” or “You might need a seatbelt when I ride it I’ma leave it open like a door, come inside it,” they enable women to take control of their own bodies and achieve sensual gratification on their own terms. 

Such songs shatter society’s constraints on a woman’s sexuality and challenge the idea that only men can be sexually dominant and active.  

My body, my pleasure

These songs allowed me to have more ownership over my body. They made me feel like it was ok for me to be more active in bed and more confident in telling my partner my sexual desires. I am no longer ashamed to “have fun” by myself. 

Furthermore, I no longer see my body merely as an object of men’s sexual pleasure. My body is my own and so, too, the pleasure that it gives me. Ultimately, what females’ raunchy songs have taught me is that it is liberating and empowering to be sexual. Even more when I can sing about it.

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Source: we the pvblic