Why ‘right person, wrong time’ isn’t real

Filipinos are notorious for being hopeless romantics, as evidenced by our ‘hugot’ culture and telenovelas. Our discourse in romance spans many articles, books, and content formats. Amidst all of our musings about the trappings of love, one question remains popular, ‘Is the concept of timing valid’?

This question became a center point for a viral Tiktok video. The clip argues that the ‘right person, wrong time’ argument is flawed, given that the right person will wait, accept, trust the process, and continue to love. It concludes that ‘if someone is truly right for you, they will stay’.

It’s certainly a divisive stance, with a great number on the Internet arguing the opposite: You can indeed find THE One, but timing can be a b*tch. This point holds water, for various reasons.

The notion of ‘right person, wrong time’ promotes the practice of self-respect. Things beyond one’s control can break a relationship. It is human to be overwhelmed with having to juggle multiple aspects of our lives.

A common example would be when a pair might prefer to focus on building up their careers first. It is okay to prioritize things over the pursuit of romance. It is nice to think that this is not as frowned upon as it was back then.

However, while the point is valid, I think the ‘right person, wrong time’ mindset also stems from our innate fear of missing out, also known as FOMO. Left unchecked, ‘FOMO’ mannerisms can be toxic.

We impatiently believe that something needs to happen now or else it will not happen again. We think that a ‘need’ has to be within reach for it to be true. This influences us to see people as fleeting opportunities that need to be claimed while still available.

The ‘right person’ should not be bound to time constraints or expiration dates.

Even if the sentiment is cliché, we tend to forget that it takes two for a relationship to thrive. If two people are meant to be together, both should understand themselves and each other.

Over the years, I realized that we have grown reliant on the other person to adjust for us. Usually, the other party expects the same. This behavior makes room for what we exaggeratedly label as ‘a struggle of being in love’.

We tend to disregard that the “right person” is also a person – someone flawed at the end of the day. And loving someone involves embracing the entirety of their being, including their imperfections.

Love is patient and selfless; it is unconditional. We should show it because we want to, not because we want to merit something out of it.

At the end of the day, we each have our own experiences regarding relationships, so both sides have a point.

Regardless, I stand by my belief that the ‘right person, wrong time’ is a flawed idea. It’s backed up by misconstrued notions about love. After all, shouldn’t we aspire for something greater? That ‘The One’ is patient and understanding, where timing will never be an issue or a question.

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Source: we the pvblic