College is not about graduating on time
College is a preparatory venture into the realm of adulthood. It’s a place where we learn more about ourselves and what we want out of life. We’re also expected to learn how to be contributing members of our respective communities in the process.
Considering that colleges were built as an institution meant to prepare us for the ‘real world’, why does the social norm dictate that we finish college ‘on time’? We all go through the ‘real world’ at our own pace, each with its own triumphs and trials. So, in the grand spectrum of things, the time it takes for someone to finish college shouldn’t matter.
My mind knew this very well, yet my heart begged to differ. It’s been a few years since I found out that I was gonna graduate a year later than I intended to.
It didn’t help that there were people who tend to be explicit with their judgments. And while I’ve since branded them as overly critical, there are times where I admit to considering their stance. For them, trying to justify being academically delayed is an incompetent person in denial’s reasoning.
I’m happy for you but…
While I’m genuinely happy with my batchmates who’ve graduated already, the existential dread of being ‘left behind’ still lingers.
While they took the straightforward route, my college journey pivoted to becoming a series of uncertainties, ranging from being demotivated to do coursework to questioning whether I chose the right career track.
At night, I would often ask myself: where did it all go wrong? In other words, I was anxiously stressed 24/7. I plunged myself into excessively thinking about what I should have done rather than accepting what has happened.
College is a place to make mistakes
Life is known for its grand way of making things known to people. In my case, being academically delayed paved the way for an influx of realizations to come creeping in. Nearly 18 months of community quarantine also stressed those into my very being.
The thing is, my life as a college student got prolonged by a year because I forced myself to abide by the standard pace. I ended up flunking some of my classes, and the regrets only continued to pile up from there.
I desperately wanted to graduate alongside the people I started college with. I took more classes to avoid ‘falling behind’ even further. I thought that doing this would restore my own sense of self-worth.
I ended up withdrawing from a few subjects because I found myself constantly holding back tears in the middle of lectures. I was pushing myself to keep up with the standard pace, at the expense of deteriorating mental health.
In the end, it’s what caused me to feel burned out – I lost my sense of ‘sanity’ in the process. These were regretful decisions and served as a wake-up call to shift how I thought about pursuing a college degree.
It took a while for me to accept that reality wholly.
College is about being better
At the end of the day, people go to college because they have the desire to better themselves; that wasn’t going to happen if I kept things to myself. I decided to push past my self-imposed shame and asked for advice I always subconsciously sought for.
Sharing my problems with others allowed me to get a clearer perspective of the mental torment I put myself in. I was reaffirmed that I am still young – graduating college later than others doesn’t demerit the milestones I accomplish. These are still achievements nonetheless
It took a while for me to realize that abiding by societal standards at the cost of your own sanity will never be worth it. After all, college is a marathon. Regardless of the pace I choose, what matters is that I see myself finish.
As cliché as it sounds, the journey takes precedence over the destination itself.
The post <b> College is not about graduating on time </b> appeared first on WE THE PVBLIC.
Source: we the pvblic
No comments