Yup, it’s possible to be friends with your ex again
When couples are seen in a film, people expect one out of the two endings: they stay together or break up. When the latter part happens, it seems like the next step is for them to accept it and just move on. It has always been like this and sometimes everything feels predictable.
You’ve already witnessed the typical romantic tropes like love triangles, soulmates, forbidden love, and a whole lot more. But there’s another concept that breaks the ideal format – friends to lovers to exes to being friends again. While this isn’t usually depicted on screen, it can actually happen.
Case in point: meet these people who are the ultimate embodiment of the saying, “exes can be friends.” Below, Samantha, JM, Nico, Maddy, and Jasmine* talk about their IRL love stories and share how they reconciled with their former flame.
Back to square one
Isn’t it funny to think that you’d end up with someone the way you first started out? It’s like pressing the reset button, but this time, you get to do things differently.
*JM recalled how he became friends with his high school ex after having a hard time getting over her. He said, ‘She was my first love. I actually imagined marrying her before [laughs]. So yeah, it hurt a ton… I would cry every day.’
After nearly six years, it all boiled down to sliding in each other’s Instagram DMs during the pandemic. They reacted to each other’s IG stories, until one day, both of them played Genshin Impact together while they were on a Discord call.
JM added, ‘I remember thinking like, “Yep she’s still pretty,” while we were making jokes… It felt like we were close again because we talked for one or two hours nonstop catching up on each other’s lives.’
Meanwhile, *Samantha remembered how the three-year relationship with her ex ended. He lied to her about his whereabouts, flirted with his girl BFF, and he didn’t communicate his feelings properly. Things between them didn’t really end well, and mending back their friendship didn’t happen overnight.
To be more specific, they had closure only after two years. Many of their friends also pushed them to talk again. She explained, ‘I think we both agreed that we were also friends during the relationship more so than lovers… We were also really young at the time and didn’t know better.’
It took a few years before Samantha and JM welcomed their exes into their lives again. But time has a particular magic of its own. Meeting each other in a better version of themselves helped with maintaining a healthier friendship this time around.
It didn’t work out for a reason
Sometimes, lessons can come in the form of failed relationships. When you find yourself considering being friends with your ex again, throw away expectations that things would go back to the way it was.
*Maddy reflected on a toxic part of her relationship with a guy she dated back in college. She vividly remembers how he became too possessive and didn’t allow her to hang out with friends, talk to other people, and even leave her own condo.
The guy wanted to call it quits after a huge fight, but Maddy admitted she didn’t want to end things yet and decided to chase him. It was also difficult for her to move on since she saw him in class and they had the same circle of friends.
Maddy then became distant when her ex entered a new relationship. She even got used to his presence since it was unavoidable for them to work on some school projects together. While it wasn’t the type of second chance she initially wanted, it’s still a win to have a friend who knows you to the core.
Maddy also shared how they eventually grew closer after graduation, ‘I can open up to him about my guy problems and he gives me advice on how to fix them… We also talk about our careers very casually with no malice. We’ve grown so much and become mature individuals.’
Respect the unspoken boundaries
Mainstream media depicts that the exes-to-friends bond is pretty uncommon, or something that most likely won’t happen at all. But while this type of connection isn’t for everyone, it doesn’t ultimately mean that having platonic friendships with your exes is impossible.
Coming from a four-year-long relationship, *Nico shared one of the possible consequences of the setup, ‘Nobody wants to be with someone who is friends with their ex because they are afraid that they might get back together.’
However, *Jasmine also pointed out another important thing, ‘It will mostly depend on the reason for the breakup and if both parties are emotionally mature. Communication is important for any friendship to work and the boundaries should be made clear.’
There are breakups that are messier than others. Some people were cheated on or they finally let go of an abusive partner. If that’s the case, then being buddies with their exes shouldn’t be on their to-do list. But for those who could peacefully reunite, maybe it’s proof that friendship is the relationship where they would last longer – and it’s not a bad thing at all.
* The names of the participants were changed to maintain anonymity.
The post <b> Yup, it’s possible to be friends with your ex again </b> appeared first on WE THE PVBLIC.
Source: we the pvblic
No comments