Age Gap shouldn’t be a romance trope!

*WARNING: Mentions of pedophilia and grooming*

They said age doesn’t matter…but it kinda does.

Apparently, there are some who find it romantic when a young girl has a crush on an older guy. This situation can also happen vice versa if the younger one is male and the older one is female. 

What is wrong with this?

From a child’s point of view, adults are the ones they learn from and are their role models. They put their trust in them and so, the adults should know better. Sadly, some adults use this as an advantage to let minors think that relationships with huge age gaps are okay.

It’s disturbing that this concept is being normalized in films. Others find it romantic and think that they are allowed to love anyone. That part is true but there must be a limit.

Here are two films that show and explain why the “age gap” shouldn’t be a romance trope:

My Teacher

Seventeen-year-old Hibiki is a high school student who falls in love with Mr. Ito, her teacher. She confesses her love for him but was rejected. Later, Mr. Ito finds himself captivated by Hibiki and reciprocates her feelings.

Japanese films, no doubt, have some of the softest and purest storytelling in films but if we look closely, it involves a “love story” between an adult and a minor. Hibiki faced judgment for her attraction towards her teacher while Mr. Ito is being punished for falling in love with a student.

A teacher falling in love with a student isn’t romantic, heck it is illegal and can cause the teacher to be fired. There is an obvious power imbalance between the two. Hibiki, a young student, felt devastated and heartbroken when her teacher rejected her. As a teacher, Mr. Ito should know better by leaving the situation like that but nuh-uh, he secretly looks out for Hibiki and falls in love with her too. 

Lolita

English professor, Humbert Humbert, rents a house in the countryside and meets Dolores, the landlady’s daughter. He instantly felt an attraction toward her and wrote his feelings in his diary. When the landlady reads his entries and learns about this, she just coincidentally goes out for a drive and dies. Humbert then begins a relationship with Dolores and calls her “Lolita” or “Lo.” Lolita was happy with her relationship at first but feels trapped since she cannot reveal her relationship to anybody under Humbert’s wishes.

Despite it having a controversial and disturbing story, it was adapted twice into films from the book with the same title. The two films follow the same storyline of an English professor who becomes sexually attracted to an adolescent girl. Lolita’s character was originally 12 years old but was changed to 14 and 15 years old for the film adaptations.

To be frank, everything about this story is wrong. A middle-aged man has a relationship with a young girl and controls her. Even though the two films aged up Lolita’s age to 2-3 years, it doesn’t erase the fact that she is a minor and was sexualized by making her act like a woman. To add to that, the film was shown in Humbert’s POV which could show that he was only sexualizing Lolita while she was doing normal things and not “seducing” him. Let us not also erase the fact that the two films cast real-life teenagers for the role.

With a trope like this shown in media, it will lead to minors thinking that grooming and pedophilia are normal which is very concerning. Let alone, this behavior shouldn’t be normalized in the media when younger audiences can, may, or will view these.

It’s fine to have a crush on adults but this reason should not be an excuse for adults to give in and engage with a minor’s feelings. Children shouldn’t be held accountable for engaging with age-gap relationships when their minds are still forming. Adults must know what is right from wrong and know better. They should never use their status or power to control children and manipulate them for their desires.

banner by: @kayesketches

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Source: we the pvblic