What it’s like to be gay and have a supportive dad

Dora Dorado, more known as @doracrybaby on his socials, is known for engaging material that doesn’t stray away from informative content on social issues. Whether or not he’s under the social media spotlight, he proudly represents the LGBTQ+ community and continues to spread his advocacies.

With his outspoken demeanor and contagious energy, there’s no surprise why the amount of people who follow him continues to grow. But at the end of the day, one of the supporters that matter the most is his father, or Papa Jojo, as Dora would call him.

During the Zoom interview, the pair seemed like they were caught up in their own world sometimes, laughing about a few inside jokes before throwing their responses.

‘Unique yung relationship namin ng anak ko. In a way na madalang yung father [and] son relationship na nagkaka-intindihan ng husto,’ Jojo said.

While some are lucky enough to have parents who are accepting of who they are, Dora is equally fortunate despite the short rollercoaster ride he experienced when he was younger.

He shares, ‘Kasi even though late yung progress, we got there eventually and sobrang understanding naman and loving. I can’t ask for anything else.’

The two of them freely share a few things that make up their father and son relationship, and Jojo also explains how being open plays a big role as a parent of someone from the LGTBQ+ community.

Bonding activities include: booze and the outdoors 

When asked if they enjoyed doing things together, Jojo’s smile radiated through the screen. He raised his eyebrows, indicating that it’s a yes. Dora shared, ‘We love drinking together. That’s one of our favorite bonding activities.’

The duo also influences each other’s hobbies. Dora recently became a Plant Parent, and it grew on his dad as well. Both of them said that they also have a knack for outdoor activities.

‘Never kami nag outing na nag hotel. Laging out of town, by the beach, by the lake, river, mountains, ganyan mga trip namin,’ Dora explained. 

They didn’t have a “coming out” story

Many kids sometimes go through hot waters when it comes to opening up to their parents. For Dora, it was the opposite, ‘Never kasi kami nagkaroon ng ano, like “coming out” story.’

‘Parang lagi lang siyang nahihint sa inuman. Ganyan. Diba?’ Dora continued.

Jojo agreed and said, ‘Kapag nag iinuman, kinabukasan tinatanong niya ako, “Papa natandaan mo ba yung sinabi ko kagabi?” something like that.’

Jojo explained that he pretended to forget what happened the night before, but it was already on the back of his mind that Dora was gay. He said, ‘Pero it doesn’t matter. Ang importante masaya kami pag magkakasama kami.’

Be your child’s number one supporter

Dora was a pioneer of the street dance group A-Team, and his dad has been supportive ever since. Dora said, ‘Even with my dance career also, siya bumibili minsan ng makeup ko, siya bumibili ng lashes ko.’

The fear of discrimination was replaced by the freedom of being unapologetically candid when Dora was around his father. Jojo said, ‘Very natural naman yung pag labas niya.’ 

Dora echoed that he was always vocal about his creative pursuits, which helped in the long run. He said, ‘So I guess medyo mas smooth yung transition because of that.’

Realistic decisions and the right timing

For the young queers who are indecisive about coming out to their parents, Dora explains that it’s better to wait it out and let time do its thing rather than losing everything.

He makes it clear, ‘I encourage coming out. I encourage being true to yourself, pero sometimes you have to be realistic about it.’

‘I mean, it’s an ideal situation na you have to be true to your parents, diba? Pero if your safety is at risk, it’s better to wait it out, I guess,’ he said. ‘That’s from my perspective. Pero, if you think naman that your parents will be accepting, go ahead. ‘

When it comes to the parents, however, Dora raises an important question. He said, ‘I think more than the message to the kids, I think mas [important yung] message to the parents. When coming out, in my perspective, would you rather accept your child, or would you rather lose them because of their sexuality?’

On being more understanding

Jojo wasn’t as accepting before. He shared, ‘Dati kasi sabi ko sakanya na pag naging bading ka, ibibitin kita ng patiwarik.’

However, things panned out the opposite direction. Jojo compared his relationship with his father to how he was with Dora. It led to him being the parent he is today, ‘Pinaka lesson na maituturing ko is yung [mag] open up between father and son.’

‘Kasi ako, nung between me and my dad before, eh hindi kami masyadong open, so parang masikip sa loob ng bahay,’ he continued.

Jojo pointed out that things would be easier if a child can communicate their thoughts rather than keeping it all to themselves. He also realized that kids should show their parents what makes them happy, ‘Pero alam mo, kuwan lang yan eh, one way of telling your kids na dapat kung ano ka, ipakita mo.’

After Jojo expressed his sentiments, Dora said, ‘Don’t you wish that all dads were ganun ‘no? Sana all ganyan.’

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Source: we the pvblic